So after the call to the professor’s lab we get sent to ‘the neither world" we have been redirected away from our comrades when they lost us in the tunnel we found ourselves in. My companion, Thorhalla was with me when we lost Drake and Nathan. Thorhalla twirls her hand and suddenly stood there with a hand axe in her hand. How does she do that? I had pulled out my ear horn and was unable to find our friends. We walk into a blue box of plastic and a small toilet. The sudden crush of small quarters gave Thorhalla a start as I opened the door and let us fall out of the portacan we found ourselves in. Voices came over the wind that sounded like one of our missing compatriots. Thorhalla became distressed as she contemplated the situation. I assured her, she would, “Please take my arm and I will be happy to guide across this street.”
We get across the street and into the studio. We were asked, “Do you want to see the Professional combat shopping or the regular combat shopping?” I told them Professional sounds like it would be fun. We were seated in the audience and found Ian, Nathan, Drake apparently were competing in the professional shopping challenge, hmm. I show Thorhalla a seat and we sit and enjoy the show. Apparently this is a game show of some sort. We were seated near the top and had a great view of the shopping mall they had built in the large studio complex that our friends were competing in.
Welcome to BaseBalls! shouted Drake as he took out his competition with a baseball bat to the family jewels. I realized suddenly it wasn’t fake that this was real violence, a bit much for regular television. What is going on here?
“Our returning champion is standing down for medical attention” came over the pa system. “I’ll say” I said to Thorhalla. She looked pretty shocked. She wasn’t used to this sort of “entertainment” and frankly neither was I.
I looked around in the audience to see what kind of people enjoy this base nonsense.
The usual fight loving low life was all around us cheering them on, it was like seeing a boxing match.
The store fronts suddenly revolved around and the announcer said that they were “restocking”. More coming. A new set of stores suddenly opened for “business”. I tried to contemplate what the “goal” of this game was. Appliances were on the Second floor and apparently that’s where our friends went next. Drake and company were still plotting what they were going to do. They discussed strategy actively.
Ready Set Shop! came over the loud speaker
Drake jumped on the trampoline and went for the appliances. The others headed to the electronics store.
Ian tried to run but was caught by a set of bolas that entangled his legs. Everyone else managed to avoid them, but Ian was caught fast.
Nathan stops and turns to help Ian. One of their competition pulls out a sling and oddly the man hits himself with his weapon. Then he was hit by a black ball that hit him in the head but stuck to him and spread over his head and restrained him down to his hands.
“OOHhh. the blackout sack!” came over the loudspeaker.
Nathan grabbed a bunch of black stars off the wall. He ran down to a small jewelry store.
“Out comes the steam iron kiosk!”
Right in front of Nathan.. It was a strange contraption that spout out steam and noise and Nathan faced it with his throwing stars. Another kiosk came up with purses spinning on it. They both square off with Nathan standing between him and the electronics shop.
He throws a black throwing star at the base of the purse kiosk, and they explode with a lightning blast. Boom!
Black stuff curled around it and purses flew everywhere as it exploded.
Bags fly everywhere. One went through the window of the McDonalds and Grimaces and Hamburglars went everywhere.
Ian grabs three purses and crammed them full of children’s toys from the McDonalds. Nathan went after his opponent with his new found toys. He had discovered his “throwing stars” had the same effect as the “black balls” so he was readying them for the next salvo.
Meanwhile up in the audience….
Scantily clad women handed out credit cards to members of the audience who were cheering the loudest. I explained the use of credit cards and what they were to Thorhalla and she began to cheer loudly to bring the prizes to us.
A large breasted woman hands Thorhalla a credit card. She takes it and stuffs it in her bag, I cheered loudly and she gave me one too.
Nathan pulls out a black star, his opponent pulls out a black ball, and Nathan says, “Is your ‘fu’ better than mine?” And smiled.
There is a standoff between George Foreman and Marvin Scream! yelled the announcer.
Marvin said, “I don’t know, want to try me?”
George said back, “Your quit but not my type!” and with that he threw his star just as Marvin threw his black ball. They both dodge dramatically! George missed Marvin, however, Marvin hit a twirling rack and it covered the rack harmlessly.
His star hit shelf rack and the star spread over half of it.
Nathan/George eyed a security mirror and saw Marvin looking at him through the same mirror.
Drake looked through a door and threw a baseball through the door, a loud recording announced “Welcome to Slaymart!” as the door opened.
He looked through the doors at the appliances. He dashed in, avoiding the buttons and straight to the refrigerators.
He came face to face with “Smiling Joe” as the announcer screamed. Smiling Joe was twirling two bolos as Drake approached. Drake pulled out a baseball and a rock from his bags and faced him down. Whack!
Drake let loose the rock and the rock hit him straight in the chest. Smiling Joe let loose his bolos at the same time and but he wasn’t so lucky. The bolos went straight for the camera and covered it in black goo. The audience at home was not going to be happy. Smiling Joe recovered from his blow from Drake.
The camera panicked and the black tarp cover pulled in and knocked it out.
Drake came at Smiling Joe with a flying kick. Smiling Joe crumpled in a heap.
Drake, after he dispatched Smiling Joe, went about the business of pushing refrigerators out of the store and past the booby traps.
Marvin Scream had a racket ball in his hand as he contemplated Nathan/George. Nathan was ready for him. Marvin ducked in time for Nathan’s star to whiz over his head.
He retorted with a thrown ball and it whizzed past Nathan.
Marvin grabbed a bag and stuffs three of the balls into the bag. He tied it loosly and prepared to throw it. Nathan twirled his fingers in the air and the tie on the bag slipped on to Marvin’s fingers. The bag exploded on the inside and the bag ripped open in front of Marvin. A black shroud covered Marvin and enveloped him completely, Marvin fell in a heap.
Nathan continued to fill more bags with merchandise, uninhibited.
Drake came away with three refrigerators and Ian came away with $12K full of hand bags. Nathan came away with around around $24K in electronics and bags full of stuff.
The announcer spoke, “Looks like we got two out this round Consumers! So is anyone rooting for George! Yah! Anyone for Ian! Yay! For Don Ho! Yay!
Money fell from the skies and the audience went mad.
Now lets see what these guys will do. Will they take each other out? Or will the go for the most money!”
I have to ask, Now that we are down to the last round, if you win, what are you going to do Don?
I warned you once…
George, “I’m going to Disney World..”
Ian said, “I’m going to Boatman world.” As the announcer looked puzzled.
Final round, all prizes worth double!
All the stores got restocked and set nice as they turned around and reopened.
So are there any other secret words you would like to say to our audience… Ian shouts out “have fun!” they all boo and yell, get him off the stage!
Any other secret words you’d like to say?
All the women get diamond tennis bracelets!" Yay!
The announcer turned to Don, and asked to say something for his audience, “Trips for all!” Don shouted. Yay! shouted the audience.
Tickets for the studio tour were handed out and I took one and handed one to Thorhalla and I said to her, “lets take the tour, it will be fun.”
Drake tuned to Nathan and Ian, You take the jewelry store Ian,Nathan, take bridal, I’ll take electronics.
Ready Set! SHOP!
They rushed to the sports goods and got pogosticks. But Nathan just ran up the wall and climbed up to the bridal section up on the second floor.
Ian used a pogostick to get to the Jewelry store.
Drake just jumped up to the electronics store.
Ian slid into the store well under the steamy whirling obstruction between him and the store.
Ian took his pogo stick and proceeded to the jewelry store.
The announcer yelled, This is highly irregular" as Drake and Nathan visited sports and loaded up with “weaponry” and eq.
The audience went wild …
Nathan bounced up to the bridal store and climbed up to the second floor.
Drake took his time to go to Electronics. And everyone cleaned out their shops unimpeded.
The announcer walked up to myself and Thorhalla and declared, “Congradulations on your trip to Miami!”
Yea! we shouted and then he asked us, “Are you a couple?”
I shouted, “Yes” and Thorhalla, shocked looked at me. I whispered, “Say yes”
“Yes” she said nervously.
“don’t worry about it, it’s TV.” I said to her.
The announcer said, How will you like your honeymoon in Miami?"
“It’s an unexpected delight.” Thorhalla said grimly.