Module fun

Wedding + aftershocks
In which Thomas and Thor halla are married, and a hat is destroyed.

The night starts with Nigel being picked by an Ape Pimpin order to catch up with the rest of the gang on boatman’s world. The twins are left in the care of chef. We can only hope that the home is in one piece when all return.
Thorhalla tries on her wedding gown, a pale pink color, wrought with fine lace, which Momo clearly considers a work of art.
Nigel Hooks up with Drake and gets caught up on current events.
Ian plays paparazzi deflection, referring them to the waiting list of purgatory.
Thorhalla, meanwhile is coming down with a serious case of wedding jitters. Momo does his best to calm her, letting her know that he will make sure she is alright.
Thorhalla- “By Frigga’s tits, help me!”
Before the wedding an entire squad of apes show up for support, using watch gizmos to stay disguised.
The wedding begins, Thomas awaits his bride, Thorhalla, who is given away by Momo. Momo then takes his seat and proceeds to weep inconsolably, overwrought by the tide of emotions.
After a somewhat odd ceremony “Do you Thomas taks Thorhalla as your fellow consumer, to shop till you drop with?” the wedding party is led by a female thumper to the wedding reception, Ian attempts to get the thumper to play some Wagnerian opera by giving her a cd, Meanwhile everyone attempts to muscle through the atrocious crime committed by the chef’s of boatman’s world (They called it dinner, we called it war crimes).
Another thumper arrives playing country, and Thomas attempts to teach Thorhalla square dancing. In the middle of things the original thumper comes back with a shredded CD, and playing flight of the valkyries. Thorhalla starts dancing with Thomas in what she calls Traditional icelandic dancing. There is much slapping involved evidently. The thumpers begin to fight to be heard and drake is forced to threaten the country thumper.
Thomas eventually tosses thorhalla over his shoulder and takes her up to their room where slapping continues. Devirginizing is commenced, steam powered sex toys are broken out, and new one are improvised. cookies are clicked. There is some interruption when momo shows up with champagne for the couple. Thomas suspects monkey business, finagles the truth about sedatives in the drinks out of momo, and throws him out. Momo continues attempts to serenade the couple through the door. Storyteller declares “we are not RPing sex”. Use of puppets is offered, “Hey, Thorhalla, wanna see my steam powered….”, Thorhalla mentions her slits in underpants…..
And a good time was had by all.
While the honeymoon suite is occupied Drake and co. proceed to set up explosives through out boatman’s world. Security is evidently not paid enough to notice.
Off to Cuba.
Thorhalla worries about not being able to walk to the boat.
Three hours after departure, boatman’s world goes boom. News declares it was a planned demolition to make way for remodeling. Somewhere out there some unlucky person was crushed by a Boatman’s ear, one of many pieces of the gigantic bust to rain down afterwards.
Thora mentions she was once crushed by a falling head, and also claims to be pure as the driven slush…..
Boomshakalaka shows off his new hat which is larger and more extravagant and pimptastic than ever, his old hat having been lost to enemy pursuit.

Arrival on cuba is greeted by a military squad marching by, which then goes charging off after Dr Diablos men, who have been reported over the next hill.Thomas recharges the apes watches as the rest of the group decides they must rescue Dr. Diablos minions if they want an interview. The military squad goes down like a house of cards, as Drake takes out groups of them 4 at a time. Boom’s hat is an early casualty, causing him to go apeshite. The last three soldiers surrender, but Booms is only stopped by Thorhalla summoning bananas to soothe his savage ape. and the group is led off, prisoners in tow to meet Dr. Diablo. Real food is enjoyed by all as they are led deeper in to Dr. Diablos, lair, though the provenance of the meat should perhaps remain unquestioned. Propositions fly as the group enters the redlight district, and Thorhalla and Thomas go off to enjoy a private show. Wink wink, nudge, nudge. dont’cha know?
Boom gets very drunk at the bar as he goes from the last of the bananas to banana flavoured alcohol. Boom is plastered in short order. That ape can’t hold his rum. Momo shows up with lots of hats for Boom.

Wedding Planning Blues

After decimating their opponents on Professional Combat Shopping Drake, Nathan and Ian are asking if they are going to rotate through the other combat shopping shows while this one is on hiatus. This offer is politely declined.
As the wedding planner approaches Throhalla and Thomas for planning their “Wedding”. She does ask for the wedding approval form that is required. As Thomas and Thorhalla stall with other details Drake makes a call to the Prof. The prof face palms upon hearing about their escapades. The Prof arranges the approval form and says it is on it’s way to them. She also arranges for Boom Chaka Laka to meet us in Florida for Drake’s Parting present to Boatman World.
Momo arrives to Thorhalla exclaiming “What in the name of Loki’s balls is that?” Momo hands over the form and introduces himself as their agent and begins negotiating with the wedding planner, as Thorhalla explains Icelandic wedding traditions.
Upon arrival to Boatman World as the media attempts to surround the couple, Nathan and Drake take their places as the couples’ bodyguards. Ian is introduced as their secreatry. While the couple relaxes, Ian, Drake and Momo begin scouting locations for the “Wedding”. Looking through the Frozen, Medieval, Jungle Island, Haunted Mansion, and Tiki Room settings it is decided to transform a sound stage to an Icelandic Palace for the wedding and Momo takes off to begin the work.

Blue Light Special

So after the call to the professor’s lab we get sent to ‘the neither world" we have been redirected away from our comrades when they lost us in the tunnel we found ourselves in. My companion, Thorhalla was with me when we lost Drake and Nathan. Thorhalla twirls her hand and suddenly stood there with a hand axe in her hand. How does she do that? I had pulled out my ear horn and was unable to find our friends. We walk into a blue box of plastic and a small toilet. The sudden crush of small quarters gave Thorhalla a start as I opened the door and let us fall out of the portacan we found ourselves in. Voices came over the wind that sounded like one of our missing compatriots. Thorhalla became distressed as she contemplated the situation. I assured her, she would, “Please take my arm and I will be happy to guide across this street.”
We get across the street and into the studio. We were asked, “Do you want to see the Professional combat shopping or the regular combat shopping?” I told them Professional sounds like it would be fun. We were seated in the audience and found Ian, Nathan, Drake apparently were competing in the professional shopping challenge, hmm. I show Thorhalla a seat and we sit and enjoy the show. Apparently this is a game show of some sort. We were seated near the top and had a great view of the shopping mall they had built in the large studio complex that our friends were competing in.
Welcome to BaseBalls! shouted Drake as he took out his competition with a baseball bat to the family jewels. I realized suddenly it wasn’t fake that this was real violence, a bit much for regular television. What is going on here?
“Our returning champion is standing down for medical attention” came over the pa system. “I’ll say” I said to Thorhalla. She looked pretty shocked. She wasn’t used to this sort of “entertainment” and frankly neither was I.
I looked around in the audience to see what kind of people enjoy this base nonsense.
The usual fight loving low life was all around us cheering them on, it was like seeing a boxing match.
The store fronts suddenly revolved around and the announcer said that they were “restocking”. More coming. A new set of stores suddenly opened for “business”. I tried to contemplate what the “goal” of this game was. Appliances were on the Second floor and apparently that’s where our friends went next. Drake and company were still plotting what they were going to do. They discussed strategy actively.
Ready Set Shop! came over the loud speaker

Drake jumped on the trampoline and went for the appliances. The others headed to the electronics store.
Ian tried to run but was caught by a set of bolas that entangled his legs. Everyone else managed to avoid them, but Ian was caught fast.
Nathan stops and turns to help Ian. One of their competition pulls out a sling and oddly the man hits himself with his weapon. Then he was hit by a black ball that hit him in the head but stuck to him and spread over his head and restrained him down to his hands.
“OOHhh. the blackout sack!” came over the loudspeaker.
Nathan grabbed a bunch of black stars off the wall. He ran down to a small jewelry store.
“Out comes the steam iron kiosk!”
Right in front of Nathan.. It was a strange contraption that spout out steam and noise and Nathan faced it with his throwing stars. Another kiosk came up with purses spinning on it. They both square off with Nathan standing between him and the electronics shop.
He throws a black throwing star at the base of the purse kiosk, and they explode with a lightning blast. Boom!
Black stuff curled around it and purses flew everywhere as it exploded.
Bags fly everywhere. One went through the window of the McDonalds and Grimaces and Hamburglars went everywhere.
Ian grabs three purses and crammed them full of children’s toys from the McDonalds. Nathan went after his opponent with his new found toys. He had discovered his “throwing stars” had the same effect as the “black balls” so he was readying them for the next salvo.
Meanwhile up in the audience….
Scantily clad women handed out credit cards to members of the audience who were cheering the loudest. I explained the use of credit cards and what they were to Thorhalla and she began to cheer loudly to bring the prizes to us.
A large breasted woman hands Thorhalla a credit card. She takes it and stuffs it in her bag, I cheered loudly and she gave me one too.
Nathan pulls out a black star, his opponent pulls out a black ball, and Nathan says, “Is your ‘fu’ better than mine?” And smiled.
There is a standoff between George Foreman and Marvin Scream! yelled the announcer.
Marvin said, “I don’t know, want to try me?”
George said back, “Your quit but not my type!” and with that he threw his star just as Marvin threw his black ball. They both dodge dramatically! George missed Marvin, however, Marvin hit a twirling rack and it covered the rack harmlessly.
His star hit shelf rack and the star spread over half of it.
Nathan/George eyed a security mirror and saw Marvin looking at him through the same mirror.
Drake looked through a door and threw a baseball through the door, a loud recording announced “Welcome to Slaymart!” as the door opened.
He looked through the doors at the appliances. He dashed in, avoiding the buttons and straight to the refrigerators.
He came face to face with “Smiling Joe” as the announcer screamed. Smiling Joe was twirling two bolos as Drake approached. Drake pulled out a baseball and a rock from his bags and faced him down. Whack!
Drake let loose the rock and the rock hit him straight in the chest. Smiling Joe let loose his bolos at the same time and but he wasn’t so lucky. The bolos went straight for the camera and covered it in black goo. The audience at home was not going to be happy. Smiling Joe recovered from his blow from Drake.
The camera panicked and the black tarp cover pulled in and knocked it out.
Drake came at Smiling Joe with a flying kick. Smiling Joe crumpled in a heap.
Drake, after he dispatched Smiling Joe, went about the business of pushing refrigerators out of the store and past the booby traps.
Marvin Scream had a racket ball in his hand as he contemplated Nathan/George. Nathan was ready for him. Marvin ducked in time for Nathan’s star to whiz over his head.
He retorted with a thrown ball and it whizzed past Nathan.
Marvin grabbed a bag and stuffs three of the balls into the bag. He tied it loosly and prepared to throw it. Nathan twirled his fingers in the air and the tie on the bag slipped on to Marvin’s fingers. The bag exploded on the inside and the bag ripped open in front of Marvin. A black shroud covered Marvin and enveloped him completely, Marvin fell in a heap.
Nathan continued to fill more bags with merchandise, uninhibited.
Drake came away with three refrigerators and Ian came away with $12K full of hand bags. Nathan came away with around around $24K in electronics and bags full of stuff.
The announcer spoke, “Looks like we got two out this round Consumers! So is anyone rooting for George! Yah! Anyone for Ian! Yay! For Don Ho! Yay!
Money fell from the skies and the audience went mad.
Now lets see what these guys will do. Will they take each other out? Or will the go for the most money!”
I have to ask, Now that we are down to the last round, if you win, what are you going to do Don?
I warned you once…
George, “I’m going to Disney World..”
Ian said, “I’m going to Boatman world.” As the announcer looked puzzled.
Final round, all prizes worth double!
All the stores got restocked and set nice as they turned around and reopened.
So are there any other secret words you would like to say to our audience… Ian shouts out “have fun!” they all boo and yell, get him off the stage!
Any other secret words you’d like to say?
All the women get diamond tennis bracelets!" Yay!
The announcer turned to Don, and asked to say something for his audience, “Trips for all!” Don shouted. Yay! shouted the audience.
Tickets for the studio tour were handed out and I took one and handed one to Thorhalla and I said to her, “lets take the tour, it will be fun.”
Drake tuned to Nathan and Ian, You take the jewelry store Ian,Nathan, take bridal, I’ll take electronics.
Ready Set! SHOP!
They rushed to the sports goods and got pogosticks. But Nathan just ran up the wall and climbed up to the bridal section up on the second floor.
Ian used a pogostick to get to the Jewelry store.
Drake just jumped up to the electronics store.
Ian slid into the store well under the steamy whirling obstruction between him and the store.
Ian took his pogo stick and proceeded to the jewelry store.
The announcer yelled, This is highly irregular" as Drake and Nathan visited sports and loaded up with “weaponry” and eq.
The audience went wild …
Nathan bounced up to the bridal store and climbed up to the second floor.
Drake took his time to go to Electronics. And everyone cleaned out their shops unimpeded.
The announcer walked up to myself and Thorhalla and declared, “Congradulations on your trip to Miami!”
Yea! we shouted and then he asked us, “Are you a couple?”
I shouted, “Yes” and Thorhalla, shocked looked at me. I whispered, “Say yes”
“Yes” she said nervously.
“don’t worry about it, it’s TV.” I said to her.
The announcer said, How will you like your honeymoon in Miami?"
“It’s an unexpected delight.” Thorhalla said grimly.

It's All Nathan's Fault
professional combat shopping.

Drake Althine
Ian McGregor
Lt. Nathan Dark

After a week of training and attuning the phone call from the professor was a welcome emergency. interesting how a war that is fought across time always seems to be fought at the last second. “hey guys, no time to waste gathering everyone. we need to go now.” Drake said to Nathan and Ian as they rushed to the lab. Momo met the car and ushered the crew inside with very little ceremony.

The Professor explained that she had discovered a potential asset in the 2056 timeline by the name of Dr. Diablos. the crew was being sent to attempt an agreement of mutual benefit. They were given new identity cards for the trip to Cuba City 2056. Ian became Ian Bean. Drake became Don Ho the 17th. and Nathan was George foreman the 27th. Apparently the future is a very uncreative place. Arrangements had been made for them to use the only portal to that juncture that the organization controlled, to reach Sydney Australia and meet their contact.

The crew hadn’t even walked out of sight of the lab door when the whole tunnel shifted. The tunnel now stretched as far as the eye could see in both directions. “lovely” Nathan said to no one in particular.

“So, do we turn back, or continue?” asked Drake.
“Doesn’t seem to make too much difference right now.” replied Nathan. “Let’s continue.”

the crew walks for what seems like hours but it is the underworld so it is sometimes deceptive. they finally arrived at frosted glass door set into the end of the tunnel. it appeared to be the front door of a television studio in Van Nuys, California. Ah Hollywood. Much closed to Cuba City than Sydney. "well now what ? drake asked. to slip in and try not to be noticed or cause a scene and see what comes of it. Nathan heads for the door with a swift “Follow my lead”

bursting through the door he screams across to the receptionist,"This is unacceptable! have you seen that dressing room they gave me!!…….I’m a professional!! "
“But sir, you were outside.” she replies with a confused look.
“Exactly…… Someone get my agent on the phone, they can’t treat us like this!”

a staff member runs out into the lobby and begins apologizing profusely.
“We’ll get this straightened out right away sir. right this way your broadcast is just about to start. we’ll need to hurry.”

The crew is shown into a tv studio that appears to be made up to look like a shopping mall. there are several mercenary looking men standing next to a gentleman that could only be a game show host. The skinny microphone and too perfect hair coupled with the leopard print jacket were a dead give away. either that or he was a pimp.

the Crew was introduced to the host and before any questions could be asked, the lights came up and the camera crew started the count down. The host turned immediately to a camera and began his intro and welcome to the studio audience. there wasn’t an audience in sight, but he welcomed them anyway. apparently they were using a recorded audience or they were somewhere else in the building because they erupted in applause and cheers as he welcomed them to…….Professional Combat Shopping!!!!

And It’s All Nathan’s Fault!!!

The host turns to the mercenary looking gentlemen and introduces them as the House Champions. They each talk a little trash and flex and try to stare the crew down. Then he turns to the crew and they each talk a little smack right back. The host explains the rules(there aren’t any beyond grab the most valuable stuff and return to the finish line within the time limit. breaking merchandise would get subtracted from your total.)

Nathan uses Movement sorcery at this point to tie the shoe laces of the Professional mercenaries together. as the round begins everyone jumps forward and the crew pulls ahead as the professionals go down in a heap. The crew gets to the weapons wall first and begins choosing their gear. armour, bats, baseballs, throwing stars, and Nathan grabs a helix ripper just to be sure no one else can use it against them. the pros get to the wall just as time runs out and are left with nothing for the next round.

before the next round Nathan uses sorcery to give Ian a speed boost. as they line up for the second round the mercenary with the obvious jacks for the helix ripper gives Nathan the “I’m watching you” pantomime. Ian, Nathan and Drake had determined to go for the high ticket items in the form of bridal, jewelry and ticket packages from the travel agency and find the grand prize trip to Boatman world/Disney.

The round begins and one of the pro’s pulls into the lead and heads for the sporting goods store on the first floor. as he nears the doors the floor drops away beneath him and de disappears only to bounce up again a second later and grab the door handle.
Seeing this Nathan begins “running” an sixteenth of an inch above the floor. fortunately he had gotten pretty good at the deception over the last week of training. he headed for the escalator with Ian right behind. He never even looked back as he vaulted to the railing and “ran” upwards. as Ian hit the escalator it sped up and shot to the top. As Nathan jumped from the escalator rail he slapped the emergency stop button and hit it with a blast of electricity in hopes of disabling it. It started running backwards even faster than it had been moving before. the professionals that had reached it couldn’t keep up and were soon at the bottom looking for another way up.

Drake chose to go straight for the travel agency and jumped up to the second floor with almost no effort. when he arrived at the agency he discovered two revolving doors spinning out so fast from the center that you could feel the breeze. he grabbed a baseball out of his pack and attempted to throw it threw the doors before they could come together. it didn’t work and the ball got caught up in the spin and got swept around until it contacted a laser grid that shredded it. not getting in that way. second choice, break the window. as the glass shattered the high pressure inside the agency exploded glass shards outward. Drake expertly dodged them with no harm. it didn’t take him long to ransack the office and find the grand prize ticket. there were lots of travel packages printed and he stuffed his pack and returned to the balcony.

Ian drove for the bridal shop. He soon discovered that the windows wouldn’t break. so he grabbed a length of det cord from his personal stash and outlined a large oval on the wall next to the door. The ensuing explosion was LOOOUUUDDD! he pushed the debris out of the hole and began looting the tiaras and dresses.

As Nathan reached the Jewelry store the security gates were down and there was a large red button/pad on the floor in front of the doors. he grabbed a baseball from his pack and through it at the button. instead of bouncing it shot upward and into the darkness and glare of studio lights far above. Being unable to see where it went or where the wall ended, Nathan decided to try to climb up and look for a way onto the ceiling of the jewelry store inside. He reached out and grabbed the security gate from the side and then swung his body out into the Anti-Gravity well. If not for his Movement sorcery he might have hurtled after the ball. as it was it was close. He ascended all the way to the studio roof only to find the jewelry store wall went all the way up and the ball was crushed to the gravity inducer in the roof. apparently someone had tried going over the wall before. The climb back was difficult. Nathan was 20’ or so from the floor when the Ripper mercenary stepped from behind a column with a wicked grin and a baseball bat. he swung as the button and the gravity returned to normal with Nathan hanging head down, he faked a near fall letting his feet flip over his head and then grabbing an edge of the scenery and stopping himself with his feet on a column and arms on the wall. It was at this point where Drake tapped the merc on the shoulder. He turned with a high swing which drake ducked as he brought his own bat up between the merc’s legs lifting him off the ground. “ripper’s” eyes crossed, he let out a groan as he doubled over and began to crab walk back to the escalator where he was catapulted to the lower level where he hit his head and fell over unconscious.

Drake reached over and grabbed the security gate and pulled up with a great heave and the gate screamed as the lock gave out and the gate lifted up out of the way. the inner doors weren’t even locked. They stepped inside just as the announcer started the one minute count down. it became a smash and grab mission. as they filled their packs Ian joined them carrying a double arm load of silk and pearl beaded gowns and an apparent backpack full of bling from next door. They were at 30 seconds when they exited the store. there wasn’t time to make it back to the escalator and all the way back to the finish line so they opted for jumping the rail with a short fall to the first floor and then running for the host. They made it with only seconds to spare.

Stay tuned…..we will return right after these messages from our sponsors………
In the midnight hour he Screamed Help

Nigel has hired a gourmet chef, Butler, Housekeeper, some maids, an old man gardner (Guiding Hand)
Kids are not happy the chef keeps taking their mcdonalds bags away. Boom Chaka Laka is staying at the house. Nathan convinced the chef to make burgers and fries.
Drake has been training and meditating at the Eating Counter.
Nathan has made metal cards and wax balls
Professor opens portal to London 1981 in the living room. Nathan , Ian and Thomas go in suits. Drake goes as a Punk and they are part of the specialized security detail. Woman was setting up the lighting on the stage
Thomas is one of the living arts pieces on the stage for the show
Nathan is on back stage duty. Ian is on stage door duty. Drake is working the crowd. Billy Idol shows up giving makeup direction.
During the mosh pit someone complained about one of the jammers bumped into someone and drake stopped the fight by grabbing the guy who was starting trouble and telling him to drop the tude.
Thorhalla is introduced to her Fathers latest attempt to marry her off to Cronkzilla the Journeyman Blacksmith. Ugly and dumb about everything but blacksmithing. Escaping to the Privy there is a flash into the Billy Idol concert. Drake talks to her trying to explain to her that she is not in 1850 anymore.
Modified Gibbering Marauder comes out of the lights grabbing the technician. Drake Leaps from the mosh pit to the stage grabbing the tentacle. Nathan sends a lightning surge that shocks it, forcing it to release the technician. Drake then kicks the horror staggering it. Nathan surging the power through it again. Thomas shoots the horror. Police storm in in both the front and back doors. Telling everyone to get down.
Ian recognizes that they are carrying guns which London cops don’t have. Ian shoots 2 of them. The marauder attempts to hit Drake with a beam weapon. Boom Chaka Laka’s hat is shot by the buro cops and he goes berserk tearing them apart.
A conjured axe hits the horror then drake Kills it the technician says he killed her baby. Drake tells the Technician to leave. She says she has her mission. A fog rises up and Nathan flies Billy and the guitarist out. The police come in and Drake gets the team out and brings out Thorhalla and they escape to the Professor’s Lab. They start explaining about the new world she is in.

52nd Street Grab, pt. 2

in attendance:
Drake Althine
Nathan Dark
Nigel McBragg

Fade in on the crew Combing the neighborhood around the Joel estate for the signature to no avail.

The week passes with no other incidents or evidence of temporal signatures in the area. The week is spent prepping for the concert. Saturday comes and we descend on the arena looking for any sign of a temporal beacon every box and person in the road crew gets checked and the arena is again checked from top to bottom.
The concert begins and the first set goes off without a hitch. During the break Nathan begins to feel a similar energy to the beacons emanating from the men’s restroom at the back of the arena. Nathan alerts the others and moves to investigate. When he reaches the restroom the door is glowing. He draws his dessert eagle and kicks in the door yelling “Freeze!” the room is empty except for a very indignant middle aged Englishman.
Nathan says “get on the floor.”
“ Sir that floor is disgusting.”
“get down!”
Nathan uses a wind blast to knock the man off his feet. As Nathan starts to reach for him to do a mind scan he mentions “lady Gaga” and total stuns Nathan. Stuns him so bad in fact that he reflexivly pulls the trigger on the dessert eagle and shoots himself in the foot. This of coarse breaks his shock and he heals himself. The Englishman introduces himself as a doctor and offers to help only to find that there is no wound. He rationalizes that Nathan must have just grazed himself despite all the blood on the floor. Nathan decides to take him back to the stage and see what Drake and the others think.
At the next break Drake begins questioning Nathan about Nigel. Just then The Professor rings Nathans cell phone(which Nigel tries to use to prove that they aren’t in the past.) to inform the team that the Russian Pianist has been found. Unfortunately he had already been fused with a many armed Demon. He was still a fantastic pianist and could play many keyboards at once but now had an inconvenient thirst for blood and destruction. Nathan explains about Nigel and she immediately starts yelling at an assistant on her end that the portal had gone very wrong. Nathan informs Drake and they both try to give Nigel an on the fly introduction to the Secret War that he has fallen into. To very little success. Nigel continues to believe that everyone is crazy or drugged or trying to deceive him in some way.

It’s at this point Drake notices a security guard in the audience who has a familiar but out of place/time side arm. A bureau 9(?). No, there seem to be several of them spread around the arena. Nathan sends Kat out to see if she can pickpocket one of them to be sure. She gets a little cocky after the first success and gets a total of four more and replaces them with bananas. She brings one back to Nathan and conspicuously holds on to the others. Nathan passes his Glock 18 to Nathan. “You may need this soon.” almost on cue, Drake smells smoke coming from another of the stadium restrooms and the crowd nearest to it begins to panic. The stampede is on. Gun fire from the parking lot and the crowd meets a return wave trying to push back in. and the bellow of a gorilla can be heard from outside. “you shot my hat AGAIN!!!!” and Boom Shaka Laka pushes into the area followed by his crew fighting a rearguard action against what appear to be jumping android-like creatures that are assimilating anyone they can inject. “ do I smell Bananas?” Shaka asks no-one in particular. Nathan throws up a wind blast screen around the stage to push back the crowd from over running them. The crew grabs Mr. Joel and starts to head for the stage exit when a Bureau Sargent blocks the way with several guards. The Sargent sends his goons at Drake en mass and Drake finishes them off in two swings. Nathan sends a fire blast at one of the numerous bouncing creatures as they swarm into the building. Nigel fires at the Bureau Sargent at the same time as Drake kicks him and the Sargent bursts into flames. Nathan turns the wind screen into a burning ash screen and turns it out over the crowd catching several Benjis in mid air. A security guard fires repeatedly and Shaka screams “You Shot My Hat To PIECES!!!!! and arms and legs flew. The monkey crew then begins grabbing Benjis and throwing or lifting them into the burning ash screen.

The Sargent is down and Nigel stabilizes him. The Sargent sneezes and a mechanical worm bug is dislodged and attempts to get to Nigel. Drake captures it in a metal case. Mr Joel is whisked away and the sound of sirens can be heard in the distance. The professor sends another portal to retrieve the Sargent and the future tech. The crew is escorted back to the professors lab and Nigel is shown around. He is still trying to rationalize his situation but is beginning to come around. Arrangements are made to return us all to our headquarters in Hong Kong and to make certain that Nigel’s date gets home safely from the Lady Gaga concert that he mistakenly got taken from. Momo is ecstatic that he is going to be able to drive Nigels Jag and set up his cover story in New York.

Fade out on the team returning to a comfortable manse in Hong Kong and letting Nigel pick an empty bedroom.

52nd Street Grab

in attendance:
Thomas Jefferson Smith
Drake Althine
Lt. Nathan Dark
Ian McGregor

scene opens in the diner from last episode.
Billy Joel asks “what’s up with the monkey in the pimp suit?”
Nathan Replies “We just came from Studio 54.”
Thomas pipes up " that’s one of the best brothels i’ve ever been in."
“Brothel?” asks Billy.
Nathan Jibes at Thomas, “Only some of us need to pay for it.”
laughs are shared around the table and conversation moves on to more pressing topics.
Billy asks “How long do you think the Protection will last?”
“around the clock for no longer than a week I would guess.” replies Nathan. “we are pretty sure they’ll make a move soon.”
Billy makes a brothel joke and Thomas replies with an odd comment(my notes are lacking the details….anyone remember?) prompting Billy to ask, "Is he always this weird?
Nathan quips, “Historically?….Yes.” knowing laughter passes among the group, Billy and his crew join in.
Boom Chaka Laka asks anyone if they want another round of banana shakes. Thomas says yes.
Billy leans in and asks if the monkey is addicted to bananas!
Nathan replies “Naturally”
Billy asks if they plan to take off the monkey suits before we continue to his place. Nathan explains that there was a mix up when they were applying the prosthetics and they used the wrong glue, something called crazy glue instead of rubber cement, so it might be a while before they could get them out of the suits. not to worry, they know their business and are perfectly capable of working in the suits anyway.

The story transitions to Mr Joel’s home in NJ. Mr and Mrs Joel decide to turn in for the night and Thomas takes the first “in room” shift. Drake steps outside to “phone” the Professor and Ian follows to watch his back. The Boom Chaka Laka’s crew is set to watch the outside of the house and Nathan begins an interior check of all the doors and windows.
The Professor gave Drake a rundown of several musicians that had been “retrieved” with manipulations:
June Carter- had a zipper on her head with apparent internal additions.
Bill Monroe- also had the zipper treatment.
Bessie Smith- was an apparent victim of genetic surgery.
She also informed him that Dick Clark had just been taken in Philadelphia. She had already dispatched several other teams to the Grand ole Opry, the Hollywood bowl, the Kennedy Center and Madison Square Garden. When Drake and Ian return they fill in Nathan and the decision is made to move the investigation to the studio in Philly come morning. The night passes uneventfully. When Billy wakes up, we let him know about Dick and ask him to go with us to Philly to check for clues. He agrees and we leave the Boom Boom crew to guard the perimeter.

When we arrive at the Studios in Philadelphia the place is in lockdown. The Security guard looks at Nathan’s NYPD badge and states, “You’re a little out of your Jurisdiction aren’t you?”
Nathan replies, “There is no jurisdiction when it comes to kidnappings of National importance. Our department has jurisdiction on everything that’s unexplained like these circumstances.”
“Oh, National Security. gotcha.” (I just love when people jump to conclusions.)“but why don’t you have federal badges?”
“Our office is in New York City. The investigation kinda morphed and dragged us here. The NYPD is a cover so we don’t arouse suspicion.”
Drake adds, “our Federal credentials are being couriered to us as Mr Joel’s now.”

The Guard gives us a tour of the damaged studio, it looks like godzilla tore through the room. He states that three employees were killed in the attack and describes the security team that help escort Mr Clark to safety. Drake recognises the description as Bureau Mill Agents and informs the rest of us. The guard shows us the area where they were last seen. he thinks it odd that this area was also where the creature was first spotted. there is a large blank wall. Nathan scans for magic but the arcano-wave tech is different enough that he can’t pinpoint anything. We ask to see all the New hires within the last few weeks. The guard says there are 7 surviving and one that was killed last night.

Thomas begins entertaining the Joel’s and some Studio exec’s with intricate small clockwork powered devices that he pulls from his carpet bag(that bag seems to have an endless supply of useful stuff for almost any occasion) while Ian and Kat look for clues in the wreckage.

When the new hires arrive Drake watches them as Nathan takes each one individually to a small office and “interrogates” them. Nathan tries to catch each one off guard as they start the interview and mindscan them with a sorcerous touch. Nathan subtly makes sure that each realises that he knows what they were thinking and what he discovers in the scan.(all the better to get truthful answers to the usual cop questions) One guy is so boring he is Red Flag level boring(could he be using sorcery to mask his thoughts?) after a reexamination Nathan determines that “No… his life really is just that boring?”(head-desk)

Drake and Kat reinvestigate the wall looking for anywhere the beacon might have been placed. Kat succeeds in Blinding herself with a spotlight that was partially unplugged and flashes her in the face as she moves it. Drake discovers something near the top of the wall that might have been where the beacon was stuck on the wall. Nathan confirms the energy signature and the decision is made to return to the Joel home.

On the ride back Billy suggests that we stop at the venue he will be playing on Saturday to do an inspection. when we arrive the security for the venue is very helpful. showing us the camera surveillance room and all the entrances and exits. Kat and Ian are sent to use their skills to identify any areas that could be potential non-conventional entrances or ambush points inside the arena and look for any tech that didn’t look like it belonged.
Nathan asked Thomas if he had a gadget that would help him disguise the fact that he was using magic to look for any energy signature matching the arcano-wave tech from Philadelphia. Thomas immediately pulls a strange device from his coat that looks like a cross between a star-trek scanner and a steampunk era divining rod.(damn that skill is useful) Nathan starts walking around the stage looking at the device(with no idea what it is or what it’s actually detecting) and uses sorcery to detect any trace of the energy. Nothing in the arena. However there is a faint signature coming from a few miles away. Nathan and Drake ask the supervisor for names and addresses of any new hires for the arena and an area map. looking at the map it dawns on us that the signature appears to be emanating from somewhere very near(or at) Billy Joel’s home………Damn. fade to black.

Monkeys and Piano

James Kent – Drake Althine
Mike DeMeritt – Nathan Darke
John Gilfillan – Sir Ian McGregor
Penelope McFadin – Thomas Jefferson Smith
Laura Gilfillan – Kat
The fight for Studio 54 and the musical talent continues.
Sir Ian and Kat got back home and the kids were watching MTV and Robert Michael Van Winkle is performing with a Lawrence Welk type orchestra. Thinking about it the person looks familiar but does not recognize the name until he realized that he knew the performer as Vanilla Ice. Deciding to go check with the Prof about what is going on. And see Charo Leading a Conga Line in the Lab. The Prof sends them to join the others in the 70’s. Sir Ian in a Leisure Suit and Kat is in a gold Cat Suit. Arriving on the scene Thomas briefs them as to what is going on while everyone is outside.
Drake and the Jammers kill the Demons. Nathan fries the Electrical system in the place. Drake and Boom-Chaka-Laka talk and they decide that they need to work together to find Sin Chang who kidnapped Serena Ferlan. Drake tells the DJ to leave. They split a Banana and agree that they will work together despite differences in opinions.
Kat is stealing dropped purses and stuff. Getting about 100 bucks, Quaaludes, some Pot, and Cocaine . Before the police arrive the Jammers and our team head out. They finds a diner to talk and find out that Sabrina Ferran and her band were performing in the future and her band started having problems and the guys in the White Coats came and grabbed them. Billy Idol is supposed to be grabbed in 1981 and Billy Joel is to be grabbed right now. Billy Joel and Entourage enter the diner. Boom Chaka Laka sends over an order of Banana Milk Shakes. Nathan goes over and lets Mr. Joel know about a threat to him and we are now his extra protection.

Musical Chairs

Thomas Jefferson Smith’s rendition of events since the adventure in the Ancient Roman Empire.

I came back to his futuristic apartment in the strange world of the 21st century with a few of his companions only to discover things were not well and had been getting steadily worse in their absence. Drake was his usual surly self complaining as he usually did about how much he hated time travel. The professor’s historian ran up to the intrepid group and told us something was amiss in time. He handed us a long list of names, many of whom I didn’t know anything about. We went to work researching our own notes and a few I recognized as being musicians from my own time. I had built a collection of 19th century music and many of those names were those I had collected recordings for. Drake was grumbling, “I know who is responsible for this, The Architects.” I asked, “Alright, who are they?” He went on about some sort of dictator who was doing some “genetic cleansing” as he put it. Some sort of man named Hitler or Hister or something who did stuff to Jews during the earlier part of the 20th century. I need to look that one up too. He claims these Architects are responsible for those as well. The historian told us that some place called “Studio 54” had disappeared as well. All these musicians who have gone missing are have sting musicians. We leave and go to the professor’s lab and one of the missing musicians shows up. This lady Charo brings her guitar and she was very talented. The world has lost a wonderful talent.
Drake suggests we track down what’s happened to Studio 54 and see what’s happened to it in the year 1970’s. He puts on this ridiculous outfit with elevated shoes and outrageous colors. Nathan shows up in a turtle neck sweater and a jacket. At least he has some taste. The professor gives him a NYPD Badge for whatever reason. I just leave on my waistcoat and jacket. That seems to be a style that is universal for most the 20th century according to my research.
We make it through the portal and find ourselves in the back of the line to some sort of club. Drake has the outrageous npc dressed in drag on his arm.
Nathan tried to dance an well he’s not doing all that well. He slips and falls on those terrible platform shoes. I thought those went out in the 1810’s.
Drake and Nathan notice someone dressed in the most colorful robes handing out what looks like cocaine to a few of the prostitutes and I realized he must be the owner. I realize they didn’t mention this Studio was a famous brothel. Nathan goes up to someone to complain, I have no idea why. I guess he doesn’t frequent many of these places. The girls were certainly clad for the occasion. I go up to Nathan and ask where the cocaine is being sold. He gave me the most odd look and told me that the gentleman in the colorful coat wasn’t the owner after all.
One of the Lotus eaters, these gentlemen in Chinese clothing cuts a lady’s throat on the dancefloor. Nathan immediately heals her and attempted to take out the china man. That’s when a fight broke out between the 4 of us and his Chinese friends. Drake brags about how he’s going to put his fist through all these thugs. Nathan was successful in healing the lady. But now we had a small army of angry china men to deal with. I pulled out my trust Colt. It was the only weapon I could easily conceal in my waistcoat. Drake indeed put his fist though someone and the man dropped to the floor. That man is scary. Drake turns and glances around the room. He literally pounces at another chinaman. He leaps a good 50 feet at the man, I don’t think Drake is human and kicks the living daylights out of him. I realize I may not have time to even use the colt at this rate. Two of the chinamen burst into flames when they fall. A group of apes walk in to their own music theme and dressed to the nines. So this “Chimp Pimp” comes in with his ape friends and they look at Nathan and Drake look at them and turn to me and say, “We need to get the patrons out of here!” So I went to work evacuating the brothel.
Nathan yells he’s going to pull a “vacuum” and proceeds to suck the air out of the fires on the dance floor. At this point the fire suppression system came on and it was raining all over us inside. Nathan waves his hand and the air whooshes out the fires. Drake now takes his turn and walks out in front of the apes. The other Sorcerers take hostages. The dressed chimp blocks their way and keeps them in the building. Fortunately I had already gotten most the patrons out the back door. Drake slams a few of the Sorcerers together and their heads catch on fire! He realize that they were dealing with something called Popcorn demons. They get up and start fighting again. Drake turns to Nathan and tells him, “Nathan, kill them!”
I was at this point, outside trying desperately to calm the crowd. They began to ask me questions about what was going on. I had no really good answers other than demons and apes fighting it out with my magical compatriots. I try hard to assure them they were now safe and I tell them my friends are at this moment, taking care of things inside. I soon realize I wasn’t going to make it back inside to help my friends any time soon. Drake managed to break the necks of two more demons while I was outside. I finally calm the ladies enough and dash back inside with my trusty colt. I make my way to try and find the water cut off. Drake stopped me and yells out to shoot the demons. I take one out with my colt. He goes and uses his strength to take out two more demons.

Blood and Sand, part II

As Ian is ushered up to the Imperial box, Young Dometian excuses himself and disappears into the interior of the stadium. Almost immediately 20 archers stand up out of the crowd and draw bows at the Emperor and Titus and five of the tattooed citizens stand up with AK-47 machine guns. Hamilton and Nathan exchange a look of shared anger. The Professor would definitely hear about this when they returned home. Hamilton rushes to protect the Emperor and Titus. Cat begins attempting to get Titus to “get her to safety” by pulling him towards the exit. As the adventurers had been disarmed before gaining entry to the box Hamilton is forced to grab a sword from one of the guards fleeing with the Emperor. Nathan dives for the cover of the box wall and lays hands to the railing casting Firestorm through the railing to create a shield that deflects the arrows. The Firestorm takes the Tattooed by surprise and they hold back, at which point Drake recognises the Tattoo as a pledge marking for the Ascended.
As the Archers realise that bows will be in-effective they drop them and draw their swords.
Nathan miscalculates and instead of rotating the shield out towards the attackers it tilts back towards the interior of the box. fortunately no one is burned.
The machine gunners turn their weapons on Hamilton and miss with two separate volleys in a display of true ineptitude.
Cat continues to Cajole Titus into taking her to safety and is beginning to succeed.
Having no ranged weapons Hamilton throws the sword at a machine gunner and expertly skewers him burying the sword to the hilt. As Hamilton again finds himself unarmed He dives over the railing towards the fallen machine gunner, burning a toe in the process of clearing the firestorm.
Apparently the Pledged determine that the approaching archers/swordsmen are a larger threat and turn their guns against them and the fleeing crowd behind them. The Arena is in complete pandemonium at this point with citizens jumping from the stand into the sands of the race track in attempt to get away from the apparent eruption of greek fire and the loud death stick magic of the Pledged.
With the change of target, the Pledged seal their fate. Hamilton is able to grab the downed Ak and show them how they were designed to work, killing two with the ease of a well trained gunman.
nathan finally gets the Firestorm under control and dispel the side closest to Hamilton and rotate the remaining side out into the stands incinerating the remaining Pledged gunmen along with some trampled crowd members.
In an attempt to cleans the time line Nathan and Hamilton gather the AKs and Ammunition distributing one to Ian(who finally forges through the retreating Emperor’s guards in the hallway) one to Hamilton and one to Nathan. The remaining guns, bodies, and other evidence of future tech are incinerated by Tavi and Nathan.

The adventurers are summoned to the Palace to be rewarded for their valor in saving the Emperor’s life. as one would expect the banquet is lavish and decadent with many of the upper class in attendance. The Emperor demands to know exactly what happened and Nathan asks if he would like the very bad news or the bad news or the good news first. The Emperor says to start with the very bad news. Nathan explains that Prince Dometian was apparently responsible for the First attempt on the Emperors life, the archers. The Emperor is furious and declares Dometian a wanted man and decrees that if he is not killed before he escapes the city he is to be Shunned by everyone and denied Hospitality across the Empire. “May he end his days as a Beggar or Starve!”
Nathan continues with the bad news. There is a faction working against the empire who apparently recognise each other by their tattoos. At which point Nathan produces the swatch of skin Kira removed from the attacker in the baths and shows the Emperor. He begins to show signs of being repulsed and ill so Nathan puts it away. The Emperor then asks for the good news. Nathan then declares that the good news of course is that the band of adventures was able to uncover and foil the plots against the emperor. The Emperor is amused and the crowd laughs. The Emperor then presents the crew with a set of solid silver tripods about 1-2" high. The crowd gasps in awe leading Nathan to believe that this reward is highly praised. Nathan lays it on extremely thick denying the greatness of their deeds as “only the duty of any loyal citizen of the empire to protect their Emperor”. The Emperor Vespasian is pleased by the words but makes the adventurers take the tripods as an addition to a “simpler” request put forward by Nathan. Let the adventurers put on a performance in the small throne room in the Emperors honor. Titus recognizes the room as the room we had first met and partied with him. the Emperor does intervene between Titus and Cat referencing his plans for a much higher marriage. Later that evening the adventurers and the upper ranks of the crowd move the party to the smaller chamber when Vespasian takes the throne while Tavi produces illusory dancing girls and jugglers to entertain him. The ritual of attunement is conducted and the adventures take control of the Temple of Vesta feng shui site.

Thus ends this Episode of Moose and Squir….uh… our adventuring team!


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